Knife edge.

Balancing on a knife edge,
Teetering, knowing the fall,
Is any moment away.
When will life not be a brawl?

Would that not.

Oh for another time,
A different time,
When life wasn’t this.
Oh for the thing,
That this isn’t.
Would that not be bliss.

Please.

Please.

A time.

Some days you want tomorrow.
Others, yesterday.
I just want a time,
When things go more my way.

Cannot say

Ricocheted,
Through the day.
I’m unsure what to feel.
In a day that feels unreal.
Cannot say,
What nerves did fray,
What impact will be left.
Will I be left bereft?

No longer.

Broken, damaged, bruised.
Tender, jumpy, confused.
Life is something far,
From what I thought would be.
Inevitably,
I am no longer me.

Rungs.

The effect it has on me,
It makes sense that it will her,
But I cannot let it go,
Thus cannot be her burr.  
I’ve carried it, not freed it,
And now I have a scar.
The thought it will carry on,
Is one rung too far.

Gaping.

Looking to escape.
This is more than just a scrape.
This is a gaping sore,
That feels forever more.

Hurry.

Trying, moving, flexing,
But doing it with worry.
Your mind is not on point,
When you’re in a hurry.

Will pay.

Hold.
Bold.
Lost.
Now frost.
Tears,
Through years,
And years,
And years.
Fear
Will steer.
Consumed?
Subsumed?
Either way,
The soul will pay.

Host.

Waiting.
Impatiently waiting.
Perhaps,
More patient then most.
I want,
To know a time,
Where I’m less patient,
And still less host.

Keeps

Blindsided,
And confused.  
Body broken,
Though not abused.
Trying to roll on,
When it keeps,
On going wrong.

All tunnel.

Broken.
Torn.
In pain,
And worn.
Never ending,
No end in sight.
No hope, no rainbow,
All tunnel,
No light.

Not today.

Not,
Today.
It,
Has not gone my way.
Not right now.
I don’t know when,
Or how.
Let me dwell,
We can need to pause,
Even in hell.

The fish.

Are you sure?
No,
But one can only wish.
In the meantime,
I give in,
And now you gave a fish.

That rope.

You always hope,
That after fear,
That one day,
There’ll be hope.
Rising,
Some day, rising,
Clinging to that rope.

Real.

Don’t ask a question when you’re angry,
If you only want how you feel.
How you feel in the moment,
Isn’t always what is real.

Every truth.

When the last post falls,
Your heart shatters more than breaks,
It’s when you realise every ‘truth’,
Are really all just fakes.

A must.

At the edge of my fingers.
Putting it on trust.
Survival, continuation,
Is, my dear, a must.

Wake.

I want you to learn,
To understand consequences,
But don’t want you to wake,
Questioning my love.

Not.

No.
Not today.
Close my eyes.
Make it go away.

Quo.

When you cannot avoid,
And your heart cannot lie,
You hope they hold you,
And the status quo does not die.

Hell backdoor

Eyes so focused,
On the threat you know.
Eyes so focused,
Will not let go.
You do not see,
The new threat before.
The dark and opening,
Hell backdoor.

To dry.

When there is no one left to trust.
When they decide their right to lie.
Is the time you come out fighting.
They hunt themselves to dry.

Another.

Too weary,
To write the words again.
Where is the wax,
To the wane?
Never a moment,
Of precious pause.
Another setback,
And another cause.  

The outcome.

The same words,
Over and over.
The same wish,
The same prayer.  
Every day, every day,
The outcome isn’t there.

Shoulders.

Back steps,
In the tired steps.
Back steps,
For the weary.
Shoulders droop,
Neck is tight,
Eyes,
Once again tears.

Internal Frost.

Looking for signs,
Means you know you’re lost.
Shivering,
The sign of internal frost.

To flee

When you are not who you were,
And who you want to be,
But you can not escape yourself,
There is no way to flee.