Northern spring.

More changeable than the weather,
In the Northern spring.
It's visible that putting others first,
Is clearly not your thing.
Your face and body tell it all,
However much you deny.
Then you wonder why she's sensitive,
And over prone to cry.
We can not tell you as it is,
You will never deign to agree.
She'll keep trudging on though,
Hoping that you'll see.

Not going away.

Can anything tear at your insides,
Like the sound of your child in pain?
Sobbing and screaming all intertwined.
Tears falling down like rain.
Reaching out for comfort, wanting you to heal.
Doing this best you physically can,
But it's not how it's going to feel.
You'd swap places in less than a heartbeat,
If only it would work that way.
It doesn't, so you just hold on tightly,
And promise you're not going away.

Poison within

Why is it so very cleansing,
Just saying how you feel?
Turning over the engine,
and setting loose the wheel.
Starting a new day with lighter arms,
and sensing a budding grin.
Not pushing back against an oncoming tide,
But instead breathing out the poison within.

Snapping.

I felt it snapping inside me,
And then the resulting wave, 
Of feelings that were set free.  
Part sick, part scared, part brave.  
I do not want to rock the boat,
But I don't want to sit here and drown.  
My stomach a ball of anxiety,
And my face the lines of a frown.  
I want it all to disappear, 
However much I know that's not real.  
My mind knows I must face reality, 
But it's not what my heart wants to feel.  

So I stand.

In any other time,
I would have set myself free.
Held my breath for a moment,
And walked on to the sea.
Took the shake up, the change in circumstance,
Being showered in the rain.
But this isn't another time,
So I stand and take the pain.

Burr.

I want to utter curse words.
I want to breathe out fire.
I want the understanding,
That he's leading her to a mire.
I see the affect the words have,
So flippantly thrown away,
And I understand more clearly,
Why I feel as I do today.
I cannot take it personally,
And try telling that to her,
But I know myself the effect it has,
Against our tender skin, a burr.

Some how.

This is the life my decisions chose.
This is the life I lead.
This is who my life has made me,
Even if not what my heart does bleed.
I too many time have acquiesced,
To argue about it now.
Just enjoy the fleeting moments,
Or the vision beyond the brow.
I haven't given up on hope,
Just on it in the here and now.
I still have hope that things could change,
Some day, some time, some how.