Road ahead.

Today was a day in which it was hard to write.
No great trauma, no horrendous fight.
Just in myself, things are a little askew.
In myself, but I think because of you.
I'm choosing to put today away,
Put it behind another day.  
Focus on putting this one to bed.
In hope there's a more even road ahead.

Own way home.

A day of mini tests.
A day without a moment to pause.
A day you could have lost yourself,
But you chose to make it yours.
You came back fighting,
You stared into space,
You gained some composure,
And wiped your face.
I wish you wouldn't disappear,
In to your self generated storm,
But I am so very proud of you,
When you find your own way home.

On mum's.

I will never not worry,
Because I will never not care.
I will always want to hold you close,
Run my fingers through your hair.
Those things I did when you were my baby,
Before you went out in to the world.
When I felt at peace next to your sleeping face,
And knew how each hair curled.
As you get bigger and get bolder,
And you know your own bright mind,
Retreating gracefully is hard on mum's.
So whilst I'll do my best, be kind.

Up at night.

My mind's a little muggy.
I'm not quite sure what to feel.
It hasn't happened to us,
So it doesn't quite seem real,
But to put myself in their shoes,
Is a terrifying thought.
To lose those who are close to me,
Would leave my life with nought.
How could you ever think.
That your actions have a right?
To think you chose to end lives.
It keeps me up at night.

Wrecks.

You change when you are with them,
Subtly, quietly, but I see.
You switch from hyper to anxious.
Emotions riding a stormy sea.
You're manically laughing with joy one minute.
Face contorted with fear the next.
The revel in the glory,
And leave me with wrecks.
I will always be safe harbour.
I will always light my house.
I will encourage you, my tiger,
And soothe the timid mouse.

In this space.

The words just keep on coming,
I need to get them from my head.
I need to purge myself of how I feel,
And all the things that they have said.
I need to check with someone else,
To see a look on another face,
To understand if I have a right,
To be sitting in this space.

Too tired to say,

The deepest sigh,
On a telling day.
Wondering how,
This became our way.
Not quite sure,
How we found ourselves here.
Each step taken,
On a path unclear.
Each decision made,
Slowly built the road,
And added some weight,
To our growing load,
My deepest sigh,
On this telling day,
Makes me look to the sky,
Because I'm too tired to say.