This time has not been as expected.
I expected a little more joy. 
I expected to feel a little more free,
But I actually feel like a toy,
Tied to the end of a rope. 
A rope you love to dangle. 
Even when you're not here,
I'm second guessing from your angle. 
I still have the thoughts,
The worries and the fear. 
I worry what you're doing,
And what it will mean when you are here. 
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